03 Applying Practical Solutions
EFFECTIVE DECISION MAKING
Start Small
When you’ve lived in survival mode, even the smallest decisions can feel heavy. That knot in your stomach, the spinning thoughts, the fear of making the “wrong” choice. All of it whispers, You can’t trust yourself. Over time, that whisper can grow so loud it drowns out your own voice.
But here’s the truth: trust is not rebuilt in grand gestures—it’s rebuilt in small, ordinary moments. Just like learning to walk again after an injury, you don’t start with a marathon. You start with a single step, then another, then another.
Every small decision, what to eat, which book to read, how to spend a free hour, isn’t just a choice. It’s a declaration: I am safe to choose. My voice matters. My preferences matter. These moments of choosing may seem insignificant, but they are where self-trust is reborn.
Practice:
Each day, consciously make three small decisions without overthinking.
After each one, pause and affirm: “I chose this. I can trust me.”
Notice how your body responds: lighter, heavier, calmer, tense. Let your body teach you what safety in choice feels like.
Move Slow
We live in a world that glorifies urgency. Quick answers. Snap judgments. Instant replies. But for someone learning to rebuild trust, rushing can feel like betrayal. It’s pushing yourself into an answer before your heart has had a chance to speak.
Slowness is not weakness. It’s wisdom. Moving slow creates the space your nervous system needs to relax. It gives you room to notice what’s happening in your body: the tightening when something feels off, the softening when something feels true.
Imagine holding a tangled necklace. If you yank on the knots, they tighten. But if you soften your grip, breathe, and take your time, the knots loosen. Decisions are the same. The more space you give yourself, the more clarity begins to emerge. Not from pressure, but from presence.
Practice:
When a decision arises, pause and take three deep breaths before responding.
Ask: What does my body feel when I imagine saying yes? What about no?
If clarity doesn’t come right away, remind yourself: “There is no prize for rushing.”
Embrace Authenticity
For many, authenticity feels risky. Maybe honesty in the past was met with judgment, rejection, or punishment. So you learned to adapt, silence, or shape shift to survive. But every time you hide your truth, a small part of you whispers, I’ve abandoned myself again.
Authenticity is how you begin to return to yourself. It doesn’t mean shouting your truth in every space. It means practicing honesty, first with yourself, and then slowly with the world around you.
The tender part of this practice is that it takes vulnerability. You may feel shaky the first time you admit, “I actually don’t want that,” or, “I need rest.” But in naming those truths, you begin to prove to yourself: My honesty is safe. My needs are worthy. My voice deserves to be heard.
Each act of authenticity is an act of self-support. You stop waiting for others to mirror back the support you crave, and instead you model it for yourself with patience, compassion, and courage.
Practice:
Start with simple truths: “I’m tired.” “I don’t enjoy this.” “I’d rather stay home tonight.” Write them daily.
Begin voicing them in safe spaces: journaling, close friends, even aloud to yourself.
Reflect: How does it feel in my body when I name my truth? How does it feel when I silence it?
Integration: Rebuilding the Foundation of Self-Trust
These three practices (starting small, moving slow, and embracing authenticity) aren’t just techniques. They’re a way of rewiring your relationship with yourself. Each one is an invitation to step out of old patterns of fear and into a new rhythm of self-support.
With time, you’ll notice a shift:
Small decisions no longer feel insignificant. They feel like proof of your compassionate strength.
Pausing no longer feels indulgent. It feels like wisdom.
Honesty no longer feels dangerous. It feels like freedom.
This is how self-trust is rebuilt: not all at once, but in steady, courageous steps that remind you that you are safe, you are capable, and you are enough.
THE IMPLEMENTATION
Engage with Presence
Presence is often misunderstood as something lofty or unattainable, but in truth, it begins in the smallest, most ordinary details of your life. You don’t need a silent retreat or hours of meditation to access it. Presence is available in the texture of each moment if you choose to notice.
When you slow down enough to savor each bite of your meal, to follow the rise and fall of your breath, or to feel the water slipping across your skin in the shower, you are teaching your body and mind: I am here. I am safe. I don’t need to race ahead or drift backward.
These tiny anchors are what keep you from living life on autopilot. They remind you that you are not simply surviving the day. You are inhabiting it. Life is not waiting in some far-off future. It is unfolding right now, in your senses, in your body, in the smallest moments you so often rush past.
Practice:
Choose one daily activity (eating, showering, walking) and turn it into a presence practice.
As you do it, bring your full attention to your senses: taste, touch, sound, sight, smell.
Afterward, note how the act feels different when done with attention versus distraction.
Reflect with Intention
Without reflection, it’s easy to drift through life as though you’re on a conveyor belt; busy, moving, but not necessarily aligned. Intention interrupts that drift. It says, I will not only live my life, I will examine it. I will choose it.
Carving out a weekly date with yourself creates sacred space for this kind of reflection. This isn’t about checking off your to-do list; it’s about checking in with your inner world. What feels light? What feels heavy? Where are your values being honored, and where are they being compromised?
Reflection is where clarity is born. It helps you distinguish between habits that keep you in survival mode and choices that bring you closer to who you want to be. It’s how you stop living reactively and begin living intentionally. Shaping your days in alignment with your truth.
Practice:
Set aside 30–60 minutes once a week for self-reflection.
Write about: What’s working well? What feels off? Where am I living in alignment with my values? Where do I feel out of sync?
End your reflection by naming one small adjustment you’ll carry into the week ahead.
Remember Your Power
It’s easy to forget how much agency you hold when life feels like a constant series of demands, expectations, and unexpected detours. But every moment of presence, every intentional reflection, is proof that you are not powerless. You are shaping your reality one choice, one pause, one truth at a time.
Power doesn’t always look like control or grand achievement. Often, it looks like reclaiming your breath in the middle of chaos. It looks like choosing to realign when you’ve drifted. It looks like remembering that you are more than survival mode. You are a creator of your own life.
Your power is not found in perfection, but in the gentle, consistent ways you keep returning to yourself. In the end, that’s what self-trust is: not a single decision, but an ongoing practice of choosing yourself, again and again.
Practice:
At the end of each day, name one way you showed up for yourself whether through presence, reflection, or honesty.
Write it down. Let these moments accumulate as evidence of your power.
